For years, teen Boggy held the Netflix queue hostage, moving the rest of the family's selections around like chess pieces on a board, or deleting them as heartlessly as toppling pawns. Then he magnanimously created the Boggy Movie Tournament, and a meta game was born. The playing field is finally open. The competition is fierce. You'll never recommend another movie without asking yourself, "But, is it a winner?"

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Round Nine: Minus Dad, Plus Sal

by Gene

Daddy was away watching some stupid movie called “real life” so we decided to have a mini-tournament without him. No one brought their A-game for fear of wasting a winner, but the list was pleasingly eccentric and wild-card Sally brought a movie that she didn’t end up watching anyway. So that’s something I guess.

High Fidelity (Beth)

Quick – top five music-centric movies. Go!

5. Fantasia
4. 1991: The Year Punk Broke
3. The Song Remains the Same
2. A Hard Day’s Night
1. Stop Making Sense

Notice what didn’t make the list, Mr. Nick “Impossible Ending” Hornby.

Jack Black was, oddly, loveable in this role.

Marathon Man (Gene)

Dustin Hoffman is a neurotic everyman on the run from ex-Nazis and is too out-of-breath to shut his goddam mouth. Ever. Big ups on the Dust-man, though, I still love him. If you’re going to Pee-wee Herman one of this week's movies, it’s either this one or Heathers, depending on which way you swing.

Hangin' wide.

Independence Day (Eric)

Explosions invade Earth threatening to destroy the White House, and Will Smith has to stop them from blowing up at such a radical, balls-out pace. There are aliens too I think.

 Wait. Is this a Ghostbusters promo shot?

Heathers (Sally)

A bunch of hideous girls are hanging out in the 80s, and then a hideous guy shows up, and something about murders and a school blowing up? I don’t know. 

The poster says "popular mean girls and young love." It's lying.

Tekkon Kinkreet (Lydia) - WINNER

Either we watched a Funimation anime about two orphaned brothers trying to make their way in a hard-scrabble semi-fantasy world using nothing but their pure wits and courage, or our Fullmetal Alchemist DVDs are really scratched.

 Theory: any animated movie is better than the average live-action film.