For years, teen Boggy held the Netflix queue hostage, moving the rest of the family's selections around like chess pieces on a board, or deleting them as heartlessly as toppling pawns. Then he magnanimously created the Boggy Movie Tournament, and a meta game was born. The playing field is finally open. The competition is fierce. You'll never recommend another movie without asking yourself, "But, is it a winner?"

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Meet Our Guest Player: Edgar Zeiler

By Eric
The nominations are in! This week we are screening:

1) Bolt
Miley Shyrus playsh a lishping teenage girl whose shiteating dog thinksh it'sh a shuperhero.

Rhino provides some relief, however.

2) League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
Sean Connery playsh a lishping adventurer who teams up with an invisible man, a dracula, a terrorist, and a schizo to take down a messy and meandering plot.
"There are women who take it to the wire. That's what they are looking for, the ultimate confrontation. They want a smack."


3) Harry Brown
Oh shit! Michael Cain has a gun!


4) Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World
Why was this not nominated for every Oscar?
Comics plus Michael Cera?!
5) Thunderball
The sequel to Pokemon: Arceus: The Jewel of Life

"I don't think there's anything particularly wrong in hitting a woman, though I don't recommend that you do it the same way that you hit a man."

6) Mission Impossible II
It is important to note that none of us have seen the first Mission Impossible. Someone has finally learned to underestimate this family properly.

We're hoping for some more Tom Cruise tongue-action-in-silhouette, as in Top Gun.
You may notice there are six movies, and Sally is never cool enough to compete. Who is the sixth entry? Why, Edgar of course! Here's his bio:

Guest contender:

Edgar (Ed-gah)

Likes: Movies. REALLY likes movies. You-should-be-concerned likes movies.
Dislikes: How few American movies have french subtitles.
Catchphrase: "To find a movie I have not seen... it would be difficult."

Gene went on a foreign exchange to Edgar's home in La Rochelle. He saw Paris, Versailles, and the Louvre. Now Edgar's in the U.S. and we're showing him Netflix movies. We might get away with this because Edgar is a skinny little French database of movie trivia and a sworn film buff.  Avoid movies with made-up American slang, hope your DVD has French subtitles (he hates dubbing), and you might just pick up Edgar's vote. As they say in France, Nu vu vwyon!

(Editor's note: they do not say this in France.) 

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3 comments:

  1. AlexFebruary 20, 2011 at 1:59 PM

    I think someone forgot the third I in Mission: Impossible:III (a good movie). Or maybe there was a printer error and some ink smeared to make a symbol that looks like a 2, so maybe the submission was Mission Impossible (a decent movie). If there was no mistake-- good luck with the painful two hours ahead.

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  2. Elizabeth FamaFebruary 20, 2011 at 2:03 PM

    Oh, lord, no.

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  3. SusanFebruary 20, 2011 at 10:12 PM

    Tom Cruise? Ugh. I just ran across two of his flicks the other day while surfing the channels: Jerry Maguire (awful) and Top Gun (softcore gay porn and awful). He was however, fantastic in Tropic Thunder. I watched League...while donating platelets (it takes 2 hours). Couldn't move, couldn't complain. Why can't Connery get dentures that fit? He was best in the early Bond movies, although he did have a great moment in the stinker, Diamonds are Forever: after smacking Jill St, John on her bikini-clad tush he dismisses her so he can attend to spy business: "Run along dear, man talk." Scott Pilgrim is an easy slam dunk on this list.

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