For years, teen Boggy held the Netflix queue hostage, moving the rest of the family's selections around like chess pieces on a board, or deleting them as heartlessly as toppling pawns. Then he magnanimously created the Boggy Movie Tournament, and a meta game was born. The playing field is finally open. The competition is fierce. You'll never recommend another movie without asking yourself, "But, is it a winner?"

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

The Nominations Ain't Horrid

By Beth

It could be worse. Actually, it has been a lot worse. This week's nominees are:

American Beauty: I was a little alarmed at how cool my boys thought it was that Kevin Spacey quit his lucrative job to work at Mr. Smiley's. Annette Bening reprises her Kids are All Right role, or rather, brushes up for it. The Japanese movie poster demurely omits any hint of belly button or waist.

Matt and George briefly wonder, along with the audience, why the hell George needs to be in this scene.
 Ocean's 11: Did you know that Matt Damon is a family man? That almost makes up for the fact that Julia Roberts is in this movie.

Sideways: This film does a great service by warning unsuspecting tourists that wine-tasting tours are actually mind-numbingly boring. For some reason I spent almost the whole 123 minutes (minus the wallet-stealing scene) wishing we were watching John Adams.

Flushed Away: Do these look like rats to you? We haven't even seen it yet, and I'm already creeped out by their human bodies and clothes.

Rocky: Whoever nominated this needs to know that it's not Rambo. It's a hackneyed, "uplifting" version of Raging Bull, and remember how you hated that one? (I'm not breaching our anonymity rule here, because this is just the sort of movie I would pick.)


  1. We didn't hate Raging Bull, we hated YOU.

  2. I think it's interesting that you're just getting around to seeing movies that are decades old and reviewing them. Sure, Rocky is no Raging Bull, and Raging Bull has fight scenes that pale in comparison to the brutal violence of Scorsese's Goodfellas, but both represented boxing stories for their particular eras. Ocean's 11 was a heist movie/buddy picture. It delivered just that, and any actress playing with such a boys club would have to be able to hold her ground. The sequels were sloppy and rather sad. I have to agree that it WAS cool that Kevin Spacey's character in American Beauty chose to work at Mr. Smileys. He was tired of living a lie, of being a cipher. It was the whole slow motion plastic bag 'dancing' that killed the movie for me.